As I sit here today, a year older, and probably none the wiser, I can't help but think back on my life and wonder--where did it all go??!! 48 years--that's a long time--probably more than half of my life is gone. My Dad only lived to 64 but my Grandpa made it to 91 (I'm hoping to go more to my Grandpa's), surprise on that one, huh? Anyway, it's very daunting to me and very sad in a way. Part of me wants to scream--Is this all there is??--another says "hey, it's been a great ride so far". It's like I've had two life's--the one that I grew up in that was filled with fear and sadness and a small amount of happiness and the one that has been my "grown-up" life that has had some sadness but mostly happiness for the past 30 years. Guess, it just depends on which "life" I choose to dwell on for the day. Anyone that truly knows me knows that my childhood was not an easy one, and that probably is a small percentage of the people in my life. I'm pretty selective with who I share most things from my life, if you're a "true" friend, you MIGHT know the whole, entire story, if you're a friend you might understand that my childhood was difficult, but maybe not know all the details. Wherever you fall in the friend chain, if I've ever shared anything with you from my early years, you are very special to me. It's hard to relay to people the feelings of a young girl who begged not to go home when she was sick, which was often, thanks to a nervous stomach and constant kidney problems. All I will say is things were different when I grew up to the way they are now. Wow, that came out of nowhere--I had no intention of writing about all of this stuff when I started this post. Maybe I can lighten the mood!!!
Today was filled with "Happy Birthday's" and lots of good wishes--I hope that every person who wished me well realizes how much I appreciate each one of them! My brother who I haven't actually talked to in years wished me well on facebook, and nieces and nephews who really don't know me wished me Happy Birthday--this means so much to me, I can't even tell you how much. I truly have a "GREAT" family, on both sides, family that today has shown me that I do matter, maybe it was a small gesture on their part, but it meant the world to me!!!! I only hope that somewhere, sometime, I can help someone like everyone has helped me today. God Bless!
1 comment:
I know you have told me a lot about the difficulties in your family when you grew up. I feel so bad for those who grew up like you did. I grew up in a very "normal" loving family. I am so happy that you made your way out of that situation and are a part of my life - (the Kruse family). I really did mean it when I sent your birthday wishes. I am celebrating with you as I write this. I am glad you had a great day. Your life is only going to get better and better. Look forward to all the wonderful things that are ahead of you. :)
Post a Comment