48 and Counting!!

As I sit here today, a year older, and probably none the wiser, I can't help but think back on my life and wonder--where did it all go??!! 48 years--that's a long time--probably more than half of my life is gone. My Dad only lived to 64 but my Grandpa made it to 91 (I'm hoping to go more to my Grandpa's), surprise on that one, huh? Anyway, it's very daunting to me and very sad in a way. Part of me wants to scream--Is this all there is??--another says "hey, it's been a great ride so far". It's like I've had two life's--the one that I grew up in that was filled with fear and sadness and a small amount of happiness and the one that has been my "grown-up" life that has had some sadness but mostly happiness for the past 30 years. Guess, it just depends on which "life" I choose to dwell on for the day. Anyone that truly knows me knows that my childhood was not an easy one, and that probably is a small percentage of the people in my life. I'm pretty selective with who I share most things from my life, if you're a "true" friend, you MIGHT know the whole, entire story, if you're a friend you might understand that my childhood was difficult, but maybe not know all the details. Wherever you fall in the friend chain, if I've ever shared anything with you from my early years, you are very special to me. It's hard to relay to people the feelings of a young girl who begged not to go home when she was sick, which was often, thanks to a nervous stomach and constant kidney problems. All I will say is things were different when I grew up to the way they are now. Wow, that came out of nowhere--I had no intention of writing about all of this stuff when I started this post. Maybe I can lighten the mood!!!


Today was filled with "Happy Birthday's" and lots of good wishes--I hope that every person who wished me well realizes how much I appreciate each one of them! My brother who I haven't actually talked to in years wished me well on facebook, and nieces and nephews who really don't know me wished me Happy Birthday--this means so much to me, I can't even tell you how much. I truly have a "GREAT" family, on both sides, family that today has shown me that I do matter, maybe it was a small gesture on their part, but it meant the world to me!!!! I only hope that somewhere, sometime, I can help someone like everyone has helped me today. God Bless!

The Good Life

Today was a killer at work--just too busy!!! I was the IV tech and I think I sat down twice all day (except for sitting at the hood mixing chemo, yuck!!!). Tomorrow I will be a floor tech so I don't think it will be any easier, somebody has to deliver everything made. Plus fill the med dispensing machine on every nursing floor. Maybe a lot of patients will go home tonight, I can always hope. I just have to keep telling myself--you have it so good, you could be back at Wal-Mart--now that's a BAD thought! Enough bitching for one night--I must remember my new attitude--my life is good, my life is good, once more for good measure--MY LIFE IS GOOD!!!!

Looking Back, Seeing Forward!!

One more day at home and then it's back to work for me. I did accomplish some things here at home on my mini stay-cation, so that makes me feel good. Brad and family were over for supper last night so that means I have to mop the kitchen floor once again today. Emily and Patrick could never come over and me not know--they LOVE popice and always seem to leave my kitchen floor sticky from them. I'll be thinking of them enjoying the popice as I mop, LOL!!!

This is a big week for me personally. A lot is going through my mind--some good, some not so good, but I'll get through it. I feel as tho I'm moving into a new phase of life somehow and that probably sounds weird but I truly feel that way. There are some things in my life that have to change and I know that but change is not always easy for me. I have a hard time letting go of people and things that are or have been a part of my life, but I also know that in order to move forward, things (and sometimes people) have to be left behind. I'm trying VERY hard to make changes that are going to better my life--little things like eating better, getting more exercise, etc...and I also have some bigger changes to make. I feel it's time to finally allow myself to be happy in my life--to let go of guilt and sadness for things that didn't go as planned and to finally, totally move forward. I know that this will be a daily struggle, but one I hope to conquer a little more with each passing day.

RESET!!

I never could get motivated yesterday---so all I got done was the laundry. And I watched quite a bit of daytime TV, which for me is either news or HGTV, I even took a little nap in the afternoon. So that means I've got to get my butt in gear today. First I'm going to WP for groceries, then the cabinet over the bar is calling out to me---clean me, clean me! That's the cabinet where Emily and Patrick like to "put" things, who knows what surprises await me there!!

Stay-cation!

Whew, finally a day at home!!! I've worked the last 8 days out of 9 and the one day off I had was spent running to Mountain Home, AR with DKK for a little Lowe's time. That left me with only an afternoon and evening to get all the laundry done and the housework taken care of. To top it off, work has been pretty busy since I got back from vacation, so I've not had a lot of downtime. Today is the first day of 5 straight days off and I've got no energy---and a long list of things I wanted to get done. Maybe the coffee will kick in and I'll get started here in a bit! I have got to get through some cabinets and closets and rid myself of some unneeded items that have begun to multiply. That's the plan anyway, we'll see what gets accomplished!!!

Home Sweet Home!!!

After a few days at the beach in Florida, I am finally home. I had a great time but I must admit that it felt so good to pull into my drive yesterday evening and I thought to myself "I don't want to leave this place for another trip for a long time". I think that two long trips in two weeks is just too much for anyone. At least I'm at home today getting things put away and cleaned up before heading back to work tomorrow. I will be working the next 8 days out of 9 so that will be a shock to my body and mind, I'm sure!

Here are just a few highlights from my Florida trip:

1) Our traditional meal at "The Crap Trap" on the beach never disappoints-the Grouper sandwich was great and the "fresh" strawberry daiquiri was to die for!
2) We also enjoyed a meal at "Hard Rock-Destin", the girls especially loved the souvenir glasses that their smoothies came in-hope they all made it home in one piece.
3) After a pretty wild storm on Wednesday evening the water was so clean and clear (for two days) that it was like a swimming pool. I had never seen the Gulf so beautiful, I wanted to stay in the water forever and my red back and arms prove it.
4) We actually saw dolphins this year, twice!! The first time we were in the water and saw them in the distance and we were like "is it dolphins or something else", we all kinda moved closer to shore. The second time we saw them we were all sitting on the beach and I spotted them jumping from the water. I have seen them before but always from a boat, it was just special to see them doing what they do and not being disturbed by anyone or anything.
5) With another storm moving in on Saturday and the waves picking up, it was a little scary but they really made boogie boarding great.
6) We rented bikes this year and took advantage of the great bike trail that Santa Rosa Beach has. Then one of the bikes was stolen from the bike rack at the condo, they brought us another one (and a lock) but time never worked out for me to ride again. Then all three bikes were gone on Saturday evening and we're not sure if the rental place came and got them or if they were stolen again because the helmets were still in the condo. We figured if the rental place had come and gotten them, they would also want the helmets and key---very strange!
7) I found out that a sleeping crab should not be disturbed--Holly found a great shell in the gulf for Zoe so I was determined to find one also, well I found a huge one, problem was that it was still occupied by it's owner. He didn't take kindly to me poking him with my foot and my big toe paid the price. He bit me hard enough to bring blood and I still have a nasty bruise from it. Worst part is that I know better than to do that, I guess I just got caught up in the hunt!!!
8) I actually spent some time in the condo pool this trip, it was great and the spa wasn't boiling hot as it had been on past visits so it was enjoyable also.
9) Now for the scary part of the trip--As I said before the waves were rolling pretty good on Saturday and for the most part it was great out in the water, but Jade had a different experience. Her bottoms were swept off and being 13 she didn't want to come ashore without them so she stayed in the water while Taylor came to tell us of her situation. Before we could get a towel out to her she was being swept further out and down the beach. Although she had a boogie board with her she was not able to ride the waves in (she didn't want her bare butt popping up out of the water). Thank goodness Kurt was with us this year because he was able to get to her and help her back to shore, towel and all. Needless to say she didn't go back into the water, only the pool for the rest of the trip. I'll admit when Taylor first told us that Jade's bottoms were gone, we all had a good laugh, until we were all out there trying to help her into shore and saw that she was struggling. After she was safe Kurt told us all that when he got to her and saw her he knew that she didn't have much fight left in her. God was certainly watching over her!!!
10) Silver Sands Outlet Mall was once again a great place to spend an afternoon/evening. The girls all got some school clothes and I found a great buy at the Nike store on some slides that I've been eyeing. Kurt got some good buys on work clothes and workout wear. It was a successful side trip.
11) Destin Commons is a great little place to eat, shop and take in a movie. The girls all went to "The Proposal" and us adults went to "The Hangover". If you haven't seen this movie, I highly suggest you do, I hadn't laughed so much at a movie in years. I'm definitely going to watch it again with Doyle.
12) I have to give a great big "THANK YOU" to Holly for doing the grocery shopping and most of the cooking at the condo. It's always a good time when we vacation together!!!!


Lastly, I made up my own little verse about vacation:

Condo rental at Gulf Place in Santa Rosa Beach, $775.00
Cost of gas to get to Condo and back home, $140.00
Average cost of meal out per person, $25.00
Cost of movie ticket in Destin, $9.75
Serving up your big toe to a crab, free
Spending 6 great days in Florida with family and friends, PRICELESS!!!!!

Kruse-a-palooza 2009 Edition!

I can't believe that we have been to Minnesota and are back already. We looked forward to the visit for so long that it seems like a shame that it is over now. Guess we'll have to start thinking about next year. We had such a great time. We stayed at Betty's until they left for vacation and then moved over to Twyla's. Both we great hostesses and we appreciate everything from both families. DKK got to golf everyday (sometimes twice) so he was happy. I rode along in the cart most days, it was good to be outside in the sunshine. The only thing I didn't enjoy was the COOL evenings/nights. The coldest one was down to a chilly 55, too cold for July. I sat around with a blanket on some of the evenings in the Big Top, burrrrr!!! One afternoon we took a boat ride around one of the nearby lakes, it was a good time. Seeing everyone from the Kruse side of the family is always a treat!!!! We look forward to Kruse-a-palooza 2010!