Family vs. Friend

A comment on my last post really has me thinking about the difference between family and friends. This probably pertains more to the in-law or distant relatives more so than immediate family. My sisters are my sisters and you feel a special bond with them (even when you're pissed at them over something small and unimportant). My relationships with the in-laws are different for each side of the family. As with a lot of families we live nearer to my side of the family than my husbands so we have a closer relationship with the in-laws from my family. My brothers-in-law seem more like real brothers to me and I can joke around and truly be myself around them. Maybe because in the 30+ years I've known them both they have seen the best and worst of me!! As far as sisters-in-law I only have one on my side of the family, and she lives quite a ways from us, so we don't really have much to do with each other. My ex-sister-in-law lives in the same town as me, and I will always think of her as my sister-in-law (I can't help that my brother screwed up and divorced her) and friend. My third brother has had many wives and I gave up getting to know them years ago, why go to the trouble when they won't be around that long. My husband's family all live in Minnesota, South Dakota, or Texas. We don't get to see them very often and have never been able to spend more than a week together. We never have holidays, birthdays, anniversary's, etc.. together, so it's hard to have a "real" relationship with them. It's not our fault and certainly not their fault, it's just a fact of life. Everyone goes out of their way to make us feel comfortable and welcome and we always have a good time when we visit. I do have a special relationship with one of my sisters-in-law in Minnesota, we are very much alike and I think it helps that we can both relate to being in-laws in such a big family, I look forward to spending time with her when we visit. Problem is there's always so much going on that it's hard to get very much time together. I sometimes feel guilty that Doyle has missed out on a lot of his family through the years, but we made a choice years ago to live where we live. We made our life here and it has been a good life for us (for the most part anyway). Moral of the story is: I think no matter if someone is family or friend the relationship is what you make of it. I, like most people today get busy with my own life and tend to neglect some of my relationships and I truly feel bad about this. I don't want to be one of those people that are looking back someday and wondering "what if". I need to be a better family member on both sides of my family and a better friend to all my friends. Wow, I feel like I've just had a good talking to and I promise to do better!!!