I should be looking forward not back!

I've been in a blah mood lately--blamed it on being sick, then being tired, then the cold weather, and what have I learned? I think it's just me, I'm down in the dumps (about what, I'm not sure or maybe I have an inkling). My life is good! I have a great family and a good job that I actually don't mind going to (although it does have it's days), I have a home that's almost paid off (no foreclosure here!) and still I can't get happy. Maybe it's my new diet (I've done really good and even lost a few pounds) the fact that I am saying "no" to sweets and some of the foods I love maybe playing a part. Anyway I have vowed to get myself out of this funk. Tomorrow I'm taking Emily and Patrick to see "Disney on Ice" with Holly and Zoe, hopefully that will lift my spirits. Except that I'm really pissed at DKK cuz he's not going with us. That leaves me driving and entertaining the little ones. I guess I don't understand his dislike of going to Springfield--it's like pulling teeth to get him to go anymore. After our last big blowup about the subject I vowed never to ask him to go with me again (which I broke). Now I ask once and if he hesitates the slightest bit I take that as a "no" (sometimes he ends up going, probably out of pity). Maybe he just doesn't like to go with me??? Yeah, I like to go to the craft stores and the mall, but I also go where he wants to go. And let's not forget that I went to the races EVERY weekend for over two years (someone had to drive his drunk ass home) and never once complained although there are tons of things that I would have rather been doing. And I won't mention the fact that I can't even remember the last time we went to a movie together. Do I sound bitter?? I'm really not--I just think that if you're going to make a relationship work there has to be give and take on both sides and I definitely feel like I'm giving more than I'm getting lately. Wow did this turn into a rant!!! I'm climbing off the soapbox now and going to try and do something productive like making Chelsea a birthday card, although I'm afraid it might be a dark sinister card instead of a bright cheery one.